Even When We Don’t Want To...

I just got home from a long day, I’m tired and I don’t want to write tonight. 

I don’t have a plan and I don’t have it all figured out. Welcome to life. 

Here I am anyway. 

Feeling the Fear~

I am learning some things about fear. Even building a relationship with it. 

Fear is not a stranger to me, however mostly my fears have been based on something that has already happened or something that I’m afraid will happen, which is usually never actually going to happen. It’s just craziness. 

Rising Woman ~ Allyson Elizabeth

Our next Rising Woman has just rocked my world with her story. There are so many reasons that I'm completely honored to share Allyson's story here. I "met" Ally through her Facebook group, Badass Sober Sisters, and asked her to share her story when I recently saw her celebrating 6 years of sobriety. The further I move on along in my own sobriety, the more I realize the importance of impacting the stigma around addiction and recovery. I'm so thankful for people like Allyson who choose to support people on this journey. Her FB group has been one of the many supporting factors in my own sobriety. Thank you, Ally, for being the first Rising Woman to share on the topic of recovery, and for the incredible courage that it took you to do so. You, my friend, are a warrior and I love you!

Who are you and what do you do for a living?
I’m Ally. I’m 27 years old and I am a full time student majoring in social work.

Tell me about your family, if applicable.
I’m the oldest of 3 girls. My parents have been and are still together since they were 16 years old. My dad will have 17 years sober in August.

What is your story?
Well, I grew up in the alcoholic household. My dad drank until I was 11 years old. I also picked up my first drink at 11. When my dad got sober he passed a comment that he got sober for my little sister, so she wouldn’t have to go through what my sister and I went through. I can honestly tell you right then and there all my insecurities were born. Why was I not good enough for him to get sober long before? If I’m not good enough for my own dad how would I ever be good enough for anyone else?

By the time I was 11 years old I knew what real pain and heartache was. I worried about things no child should even know about.

My drinking wasn’t crazy, just weekend and school breaks but when I took that first drink at 11 I knew I was different. I didn’t like the taste or the feeling but what I did like is feeling numb. From that first night, I drank to blackout and not feel.

Fast forward to senior year of high school, I was an excellent student and was accepted into every college I applied to. I feel like I was pressured into going away. See, my parents didn’t know about my weekend escapades, but I was a hard kid to raise. I was disrespectful, irresponsible and mean. I thrived in chaos and negative spaces. So my parents thought it was a good idea that I not stay home for school. I kind of feel like they just didn’t want to deal with me anymore and wanted a peaceful environment to raise my sisters. Again all those insecurities were right back in full force.

I decided to go to SUNY Purchase in Westchester, New York. I was 18 and no where near ready to be on my own. I drank myself into oblivion every night. I didn’t go to class - I joke that I majored in beer pong and boys. I met a guy who I thought I was going to be with forever. I latched on. I couldn’t do anything without him, breath, sleep, live. He joined the military and left for basic training for 20 weeks. I always craved attention from guys and I found that in his recruiter. I never cheated, but I loved the flirty-ness. I also started hanging out with my cousin who introduced me to roxys and shooting. When my boyfriend came home, we moved in together and I stopped doing drugs. It was more important to me to be the perfect military girlfriend. In December of 2009 we got engaged. I was living the life I always wanted. But I’m an addict and eventually my drinking became a problem, so I picked up pills again. We moved in with his parents and I was convinced that if I got pregnant I would be cured of drug addiction and my relationship would be fixed. But to be honest I really don’t think I would have stopped using, or if i did I think I would have been resentful that I had too. I know that sounds so selfish, but I only cared about drugs. My relationship fell apart and I moved back to Long Island.

On my 21st birthday, I went to a local bar. I was dancing with my long time friend, and this other kid came up and the next thing I know their hands are down my pants. Afterward, I just chalked it up to being too drunk and I asked for it because I danced with him. I know now that that was no where near acceptable or my fault.

I soon met another boy, in 2011, who was just getting out of treatment and moving into a male halfway house, so I moved in with him. The house was run by a gang called the Latin Kings and they were running drugs in and out. I was introduced to heroin at this time. I don’t really remember the week I was there. The boy I was seeing stole money from the guys running the house and blamed me, they broke my cheekbones, my nose, and I was raped by 7 or 8 men. I then went upstairs a hysterical bloody mess and overdosed. Someone called my mom and told her I was in danger, but wouldn’t tell her where I was. She had to track my cell phone. On the way to the hospital I ended up flatlining. They had to narcan me 4 times and use paddles. They asked me if I had a problem and I said that I was 21 and just having fun. I went a little overboard. They sent me on my way, but now I’m screwed because it is now confirmed. I am deep in addiction and using heroin. My parents sent my sisters to my grandma's, took off work and I detoxed at home cold turkey for 8 days. I went to my first AA meeting after I was done detoxing, but was high as a kite before the meeting was over.

I went on to overdose another time, narcan, paddles, the works. I finally attempted sobriety and had about 75 days clean when my neighbors stepson moved in across the street. He was everything I wanted, he did drums, dealt drugs and had a girlfriend. The chaos that became my life for literally only 2 months was insane. I made Facebook after Facebook to tell this poor girl what was going on between her boyfriend and I. I spared no detail. He and I ended in Jersey with my mom's stolen credit card. I showed up at my uncle's ex wife’s door and I hadn’t seen her in 20+ years. We spent the next 4 days in oblivion. When I got home my parents had booked me a one way flight to Arizona for treatment. I stayed in Arizona for 3 months but was convinced I wasn’t an alcoholic, I was a drug addict. I couldn’t be an alcoholic. I was 21, that’s what all normal kids my age do.

I drank for a while, but alcohol stopped giving me the high or numbness I craved. In November 2011 my good friend from high school passed away from an overdose. He was 22 years old. My world sank. I couldn’t understand why a 22 year old was taken and I didn’t understand how he was here one day and gone the next. I had just talked to him about going to meetings. I was so uncomfortable and needed out. Right back to the syringe I went. I went to his funeral flying high and looked his mother in the eye and promised I was doing good. I ended up back in treatment 3 weeks later.

This time, I stayed on Long Island. I went to Seafield in West Hampton Beach, they were the best on Long Island. I ended up getting kicked out for fraternizing 12 days later. When my mom and grandma picked me up they informed me I wasn’t allowed in my house and I would be moving in with my grandma. I rebelled against everything my grandma believed in. I was furious and refusing.

I was with my grandma for 4 months and I stayed sober. I threw myself into my program, meetings, sponsor, and the 12 steps. In February 2012 my neighbors step son passed away and I found myself right back in the same place. Questioning God, my purpose. I really tried to stay clean, like honest to God I wanted it. I reached out, I went to meetings and shared, but the that uncomfortability came right back and I needed out of self.

I stole a credit card went down to Florida and did what I did best. I was extremely high staying in a hotel room when I called my mom and she actually answered. My parents had cut me off by this time. I went on and on about how I was starving and needed food. She just quietly said “you are my beloved, take a good look and ask yourself if this is who you want to be? That pain you feel is only temporary and you can fight it,” and she hung up. I cried like I never had before and I hit my knees and begged for help. I got my MacBook, the only thing I wouldn’t pawn, and googled treatment centers. I found one in Hobe Sound 4 hours from where I was, all I had to do was get myself to detox.

The night before going to detox I was raped by 2 men. They dropped me off at the hospital the next day. They didn’t even wait until I was out of the car to drive away. Even despite that, I still wanted to get clean. I was ready and willing to do anything for sobriety.

While checking into detox, they found drugs and I was arrested for possession with the intent to sell. I was taken to Tavernes County Jail. I was there for 3 days which isn’t long, but felt like an eternity. My parents bailed me out and I went to detox for 7 days, and then treatment for 45. I knew I wasn’t ready to come home, plus I was facing 7-10 years with the intent to sell charges, so I wasn’t allowed to leave Florida. I also knew I needed to listen to people who knew more than I did, so I went to a halfway house for a year.

I went in front of a judge 8 months later and my charges were dismissed because they broke confidentiality. I flew back to New York that night and called my parents from JFK. When I told them I was home, they told me that was nice because I wasn’t allowed in their house, so I had to find somewhere to live. I went to another halfway for 9 months, then moved in with my aunt in South Carolina. I wasn’t allowed home until I was almost 2 years sober.

To say it has been a roller coaster is an understatement. There has been extremely low points in my sobriety, but I pushed forward. Today, April 1st, I celebrate 6 years of complete sobriety. I was asked why I think I’m in the 1% of those who get sober and stay sober, and my answer is simple - I remain teachable, I don’t know everything and I rely on those who know more. I took every suggestion. I threw myself into program. I also believe living a life of service is a major piece of remaining sober. I am able to be there and supportive of everyone I meet.

I hit an extremely low point in my sobriety, I lost faith in myself, God, and meetings. I was going to 1-2 meetings every 2 months, if that, and I suffered terribly. I felt alone, not connected, and miserable. My attitude and behaviors were those of someone in active addiction. I forced myself to get back to meetings. I met my sponsee and we’re currently going through the steps. Taking her through the steps and being there and present for someone has healed me in places I didn’t know needed to be healed.

I remain grateful always. I fall short, but I can admit when I’m wrong and need help. Despite the hardships I’m still standing.

What have you overcome to get where you are today?
Honestly no one, including myself, thought that I would be alive today. If someone told me today that I’d be sober, have my family in my life, have amazing women in my life, I never would have believed it. I was heading down a really dark and dangerous road and I didn’t care if I lived at the end. So I guess I had to overcome not caring what happened to me, finding the willpower to overcome addiction.

What has been your greatest struggle in life?
Acceptance and control. I like things to go my way. I’m working on trying not to control everything and accept people and things the way they are. I read and reread page 417 in the big book of alcoholic anonymous.

Did you ever feel like giving up? When you felt like giving up, what did you do?
I want to say giving up isn’t an option, but just because I have 6 years doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with the same things people in early recovery do. I just have the tools today to deal with and overcome. I won’t lie though, sometimes I just don’t want to feel, but I won’t give up. When I do feel that way I reach out to my support tribe. I pray, write, make gratitude lists, eat, and read recovery books; Living Sober, The Big Book, Daily Reflections.

What are some of the tools and resources you have used to work through and overcome those struggles? (books, counselors, workshops, programs, coaches, etc.)
I see a psychologist once a week, a psychiatrist every 6 months, I have a sponsor and an amazing group of women and I am extremely active in A.A.

What are your gifts and how did you discover them?
There’s so many gifts. I am responsible today. I suit up, shut up, and show up for people today. I care so much about literally everyone and would do anything to help people. I’m nonjudgmental, I don think I have a right to judge anyone when we all have our own paths. I was blessed with these gifts when I got sober and did the steps and when I started taking other women through the steps.

Tell us about your tribe and the importance of having one.

I have an amazing tribe. We’re all different ages and in all different points in our sobriety but the love and compassion not to mention the understanding is in full force. They are always there when I need someone. Having a tribe makes me feel not alone and understood when I feel absolutely crazy.

Who in life do you rely on when you're struggling? Who keeps you uplifted and on your path?
My dad. I had a really rocky relationship with him when he first got sober and addiction swallowed me, but I couldn’t have gotten 6 years without him especially in the beginning. He is my best friend, my go-to, my rock. He showed me how to live a life of honesty, integrity, and kindness. I call him for literally everything, probably like 15 times a day. He is the best man I have ever met.

What do you want other women to know who are feeling lost, and/or experiencing their own tragedy and/or struggles?
You are so worth it. The pain you’re in now is only temporary. Fight through. You are beautiful and strong and I love each and everyone of you even if we haven’t met.

What is some advice you would give to women who are healing or rising in some way?
You can do it! Look for the rainbow after the storm, it’s always there even if you can’t see it.

Anything else you'd like to add? 
This world can be such a scary dark place at times. That’s why it’s so important to stick together. Lift each other up and strengthen each other. We need each other.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If you are a woman questioning your own troubles with addiction; if you're trying or wanting to get clean & sober; or if you're just looking for more support on your journey, we encourage and urge you to reach out. It can feel like a lonely road, but I PROMISE you're not alone.

You can find Ally and a whole group of amazingly supportive sober women on their journey of recovery on Facebook at: Badass Sober Sisters

Ally, thank you again for being part of The Rising Woman Project. Keep doing what you're doing, girl! 

xoxoxo

Rising Woman ~ Kristine Surla

I'm thrilled to introduce our next Rising Woman, Kristine Surla. We met during an amazing course that we both participated in called MITT (Mastery in Transformational Training) in Los Angeles in 2015. I have watched her blossom and share so much of her amazingness through the work she's doing that I just had to have her share her story with us.

Who are you & what is your story?

Hi everyone, first I'd like to share my GRATITUDE for Mimi for creating this series for us to share about our journeys to inspire and uplift each other.   

Greetings - I am Kristine Reyes Surla. My journey in life has been one full of challenges and triumphs, lessons in life that have led me to where I am now.

I was born in the Philippines to parents who, although probably loved each other, also led very chaotic and often destructive tendencies towards each other.  It was certainly a life full of passion and excitement, but one fraught with violence and instability. One of my first memories is my father and mother fighting with furniture flying & torn about the house and a lot of rage and violent tendencies in play.  At 6 years old, I witnessed what seemed like 30 armed men with semiautomatic weapons barge into the house that my mom was renting after separating from my dad. They surrounded the house and was looking for my mom. You see, my father was in the government and had access to what seemed like an army of men looking for my mom, and through brute force trying to intimidate her.  It is a memory etched into my brain, one that left me feeling unsafe & unsure of the world I was living in. That same year, my mom left the Philippines and moved to the USA where her mom & grandmother already lived. She took me and my two young brothers to escape from the tyranny and oppression she felt in Manila. From that point onwards, we moved almost every year. I found myself in a different school almost every year and we moved back & forth from Manila to SoCal to Florida like it was nothing.

Upon reaching high school, I then asked my mom to consider staying in the same place so that I could graduate from one high school in order to work towards getting into a good college.  So finally after moving every 1-2 years throughout my life, we settled into Carlsbad, CA. I finished high school in ONE school -HURRAY! And was fortunate to graduate Valedictorian, Editor in Chief, Student Council member and got into every school I applied to which led me to Stanford. At Stanford, I became a Public Service Scholar and much of my life outside the classroom was immersed at the Haas Center for Public Service.  Service Leadership became an important part of my core values and empowering and inspiring youth through education became a passion. I interned for the CA Department of Education through Stanford in Government my Sophomore year, worked as an Upward Bound Coordinator, mentor, & counselor and also interned for GLOBE in Washington D.C. ( Global Learning & Observations to Benefit the Environment) which created international teaching programs and curriculums throughout the world focused on the environment and was an intergovernmental agency under NASA, NOAA, the EPA, the State Department, & Education Department. (It was also a “pet project” of then Vice President Al Gore). I concurrently studied at Stanford in Washington with a full time internship by day, classes at night and as a working student, I found a job working at a local store nearby.  I then interned for a Congresswoman from California (Rep. Lynn Woolsey) during the summer wherein my focus became research re: Parental & Family Leave & Childcare issues. I also was a Fellow and received a grant from Stegner’s Children & Society Curriculum. As a Senior, my Honors Theses in the Science, Technology, & Society Department focused on the “Use of Technology in Education” with a focus on elementary schools while serving as a Public Service Scholar. Life as a student at Stanford was AMAZING! I enjoyed every minute of my time at “the Farm.” But apart from my academic and public service related projects, I also studied abroad in Paris at the ESCP (Ecole Superieur de Commerce a Paris) wherein I applied for & received an independent study project grant which I used to study the “built environment” of Paris by using photography as the medium. I had never really taken a photography class, so I jumped in with a camera and learned by doing primarily as I delved into the how the built environment of Paris affected societal norms.

After graduating with a Masters in Sociology with a focus on Social Stratification and Organizational Behavior from Stanford, I ended up backpacking around Europe and eventually stayed in Paris for much longer than anticipated focusing on art and living the “starving artists” life.  You see I had always been drawn to the creative field, but never truly formally studied it -- I just did it on the side. When student loans from Stanford started to kick in, I moved back to the US and after the holidays moved to New York City with no job yet, but with a firm resolve to start my “career” in New York.  

My life was amazing and dynamic, but also full of unexpected challenges -- you see, after working for a year for PBS in the non-profit world, I eventually ended up working in Tower 2 of the World Trade Center for a prestigious financial firm, which launched my “hands on” learning in the business world.  I was there on 9/11, witnessed & experienced the craziness and am a survivor of 9/11. In that tragedy, I found purpose in the work I was doing in a world that I never really thought I'd join (given my public service and education focused proclivities in school). Yet working for OppenheimerFunds during and after 9/11 instilled within me the knowing that businesses can truly make a difference in the world if and when there is a focus on how one can impact the community and the world in a way that empowers others.(i.e. the spark and connection of my passion for Social Enterprises, businesses that do well by doing good).  I experienced the goodness of the leaders of the organization, but also the triumph of the human spirit in action after such a horrific tragedy. I focused on crisis communications and primarily “ghost” wrote the letters of the CEO to our shareholders, the public and our constituents. I wrote from my heart a message of hope, of strength and of rebuilding.

Fast forward several years and joining the International Team for Oppenheimer to expand the company in both London & Hong Kong, I finally bid adieu and farewell to NYC after rebuilding and being part of a great organization and team of people.  I will always cherish the mentorship and learning I received and gained from my experience with such an upstanding firm led by honorable and good leaders. So I moved to Hong Kong, then Bali for a short stint, then Manila where I focused on volunteer service, teaching at a University focused on Entrepreneurship and dove into research re: healing modalities, social enterprise, and the goal of bringing handcrafted goods from my motherland to share the beauty and craftsmanship of the Philippines with an international focus.  I had my first “Pop Up” in Hong Kong bringing Artisan and Handcrafted goods from the Philippines with a focus on Triple Bottom Line and Fair Trade principles in 2006. But I was too early to market and the concept & principles of Social Entrepreneurship was still not well known. And I found myself explaining and educating what a Social Enterprise was.

During the time I lived in Hong Kong, I met someone in Thailand after attending a Women’s Conference through the Association of Women in Development (AWID).  This friendship slowly developed even further after I moved to the Philippines from Hong Kong. This man eventually proposed to me after a whirlwind 5 months of courtship and I became engaged.  That engagement, in many ways, changed the trajectory of my life and we ended up moving back to the USA and got married in Santa Barbara. Los Angeles became home. Fast forward almost 10 years and that marriage ended in divorce.  

I had lost myself and my path while I was in that marriage. My dreams of making a difference in both my motherland and in this life became living an unfulfilled life wherein I never truly felt loved, supported or seen. I worked for jobs that didn't inspire my spirit and I felt stuck and unfulfilled.

It has been a long journey of coming back to my truth, to my path, to what my soul has longed for and envisioned.  After asking for a divorce and starting to live authentically, regaining my voice and my vision for my life, I was able to finally launch Artisan Made International, a social enterprise that partners and collaborates with other social enterprises and organizations to bring about positive change through conscious fashion and the empowerment of Artisans throughout the world. I launched with my first curated collection of handmade, Artisan Made, hand woven, hand created and beautiful pieces while partnering with several social enterprises from the Philippines: launching Artisan Made Philippines in October 2016.  The launch event was amazing & inspiring, blending conscious high fashion (with an Eco Fashion Show with real “Role Models” on the runway), Speakers Panel with the CoFounder of one of our partner Social Enterprise organizations, Anthill, and the Executive Director of Gawad Kalinga USA on the panel with video messages from the amazing “Forbes 30 under 30 Social Entrepreneur” and phenomenal President of “Rags2Riches”. The evening culminated with a Kamayan Feast introducing Filipino food made by Chef Yana from the New York Times featured Salo Series.  It was a great launch and a beautiful way to share Artisan Made Philippines with Los Angeles.

2. What do you do?

In addition to the above, last year during my birthday in 2017, my passion for photography was reignited and I currently consider myself a “Visual Storyteller” - a photographer who captures magic moments and people's magic through my lens.  It has been a beautiful journey of discovering and embracing this gift of sight and visual storytelling which in many ways has always been a passion of mine, but never truly formally studied. I am a self taught photographer and it truly has been a beautiful and inspiring journey of discovery.  I currently have 3 Photography Series’ that I'm creating:

“Role Models {real everyday heroes}” - which features everyday Role Models and heroes doing wonderful things for the community. The website is: “rolemodels.gallery”

“Goddesses & Heroes” - which focuses on divine feminine & divine Masculine and the interplay of both through a series of photoshoots -- the most recent photoshoot focused on Divine Feminine Rising - Goddesses Shining Bright (January 2018 - @DivineFeminineRising888 on Instagram)

The next one coming up is called Goddesses ONE with Nature (March 2018) and it will serve as a template for the beginning of a new focus on creating Goddess Retreats & Workshops.

“Age Is Just A Number” - #AgeIsJustANumberSeries - which focuses on featuring individuals living their best life at any age. On Instagram @KsurlaPhoto #AgeIsJustANumberSeries

In addition to the above Series’, I also work with clients from product, lifestyle, fashion, editorial and my favorite Portrait shoots where I get to work closely with individuals to bring out their true essence as people.  

I'm also developing a series of workshops and Retreats under a new brand called: “Divine Feminine Rising” 888 which will encompass several modalities in empowering women to truly embrace the Goddess within. This has come about through the realization that I am Being called forth to lead, teach, inspire and empower others in this journey & to raise the consciousness of our planet through love.

In addition to Visual Storytelling, as I had mentioned before, I am the Creative Director and Founder of Artisan Made International which I launched with a first Capsule Collection under the moniker: Artisan Made Philippines at the end of 2016.  Instagram: @ArtisanMadePH

Artisan Made collaborates with Social Enterprises to create and curate a capsule collection of the best social enterprise products from the Philippines.  Through events, pop ups, online, and Mindful Retreats & Journeys (coming soon) Artisan Made International aims to uplift & connect the work of hands and hearts to a broader international audience with a focus on Triple Bottom Line principles.

Currently I am also serving as a Senior/Coach to a committed group of leaders in a 4 month Leadership Training Program through MITT (Mastery in Transformational Training) here in Los Angeles which focuses on leaders creating leaders that will affect positive change in the world by living authentically and on purpose. Staffing started in Mid November 2017 with Basic 149, then December with Advanced 149, and now The Legacy/Leadership Program #LP149 continues until April 22nd.

But apart from all of the above, I am also a full time mom to a beautiful little boy who has become the greatest teacher in my life.  Becoming a mother has been both the most rewarding and also most challenging journey that I have undertaken. I feel so thankful and blessed that Drake Kross chose me to be his mom in this lifetime. Motherhood is a life changer and one which I am so grateful to experience.  It hasn't been an easy road to be a single mom, but I am blessed with such an amazing little soul as my son.

What have you overcome to get where you are today?

(see above) And apart from what I've already shared, I think a big part of what I've overcome is the feeling of not believing in myself and my worth as a woman, as a leader, as an innovator.  Today I stand tall and proud of all I've accomplished in my life and I continue this journey of discovery re: the gifts I am blessed to share with others in this world.

Did you ever feel like giving up? When you felt like giving up, what did you do?
There were many moments where I cried with tears of pain, distraught, confused as to the path I was to take, but in each instance I found the opportunity to grow and to become a stronger and even better version of myself.  Each tragedy has led to a realization of my inner strength and resolve, my resiliency and my heart leading the way out of the darkness.

What are some of the tools and resources you have used to work through and overcome those struggles? (books, counselors, workshops, programs, coaches, etc.)

In addition to a wonderful foundation of education and inspiration that I found through Stanford, I also studied at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) and did postgraduate work at NYU for Strategic Marketing and Communications to add to my tool belt. But most recently (i.e. 2 years ago) I took the Basic, Advanced & Leadership Course at MITT (Mastery in Transformational Training) which led me to rediscover my voice, get clear on my vision, stand in my power, and transform my life to what it has become today.  The community, friendships formed and the tribe of like minded soul brothers and sisters whom I've met through this program have been instrumental in the trajectory that I've taken for my life over the past 2 years.

What are your gifts and how did you discover them?
(once again, see first question where I go into detail re: my life experiences) But to answer succinctly, I believe my gifts in this world are to teach, inspire, empower, develop, create, and be a catalyst for true transformation and raising the vibrational consciousness of our planet through all that I do, lead & create with LOVE.

Who/What keeps you uplifted and on your path?

The inner knowing and guidance from God, the Universe, a higher power and consciousness that continually leads my path in this lifetime.

Tell us about your tribe and the importance of having one.
My tribe consists of Warriors of Light and Love - soul brothers and sisters devoted to living the best life we can possibly live and inspire others to truly make a difference and share the gifts we each have in this world through love, community, and friendship.

What do you want other women to know who are feeling lost, and/or experiencing their own tragedy and/or struggles?
To be Courageous

To live from your heart space

To know that everything that happens in our lives is an opportunity for growth, for development, for each of us to find strength within.

What is some advice you would give to women who are healing?
Take your time. Enjoy the journey. Learn the lessons the pain has brought and take heart that this too shall pass. You are brave. You are strong. You are LOVE. So much love & gratitude for the opportunity to share a little bit about my life lessons. ❤️

You can find Kristine at one of her outlets here:

KristineSurla.com (currently being revamped)

ArtisanMade.org

ArtisanMadePH.com

RoleModels.Gallery

DivineFeminineRising.org (to be launched May 2018)

Kristine, I am amazed at all of things you have done and are doing to continue to rise the women of the world. Thank you for being part of this cause and for sharing your story here. 

xoxoxo

Happy April Updates!! No April Foolin' here!! ;)

Happy April, my friends!! 

Even though it's the same every year, it's always shocking how the time seems to fly so quickly. It seems Christmas was just yesterday! And where did Easter go?

Since I haven't been very on top of my newsletters, I thought I'd take the time to bring you up to date! I'll try to keep things to the point and elaborate more later... :)

2016 is already off to a big and busy start. Looking at my vision board over my meditation this morning and seeing how much I've already accomplished is exhilarating. I'm not sure I've ever felt so overwhelmingly joyful and proud of what I've created and I'm so excited to see where this year takes me! 

I brought in the New Year with my first article published on Women for One. This was a proud moment as I intend to bring much more of my story and my writing into the world in order to make a difference for other women out there. So many of us struggle with the stories of our past and it keeps us stuck in life and unable to move forward to live a life we love. Often this manifests in health issues and a huge lack of self-care. I want to see more women freed up and aware of their ability to design life however they choose. 

In February, after more than two years of wanting to move after my divorce, I decided that it was time to stop thinking about it and make it happen! Within weeks, I found the perfect situation in the exact area that I wanted to live and last weekend I officially became a resident of beautiful Encinitas, CA. Even though I didn't move very far away, this is monumental for me. The whole thing is still sinking in, but the one thing I know is that when you believe and commit to what you want in life, truly anything is possible. More on that later!

I couldn't be more proud of my March accomplishment when my daughter, Zoe & I brought another dream to life and launched our first Bonding Beauties workshop. I am still in awe at what a beautiful day that turned out to be for all who came. Not only was a new sistership formed between all of us, but the closeness that was created between moms & daughters was beautiful beyond belief. I am such a believer in the power that we as women have to empower each other on so many levels. And if we will just start with the women in our lives, the ripple effect can be astounding. I can't wait to create more of this magic! 

What's next, you ask?! ;) SO MUCH!! 
I'll just bullet point some of the good stuff so you'll know you should stay tuned... :)

• My nutrition programs are under construction and relaunching within the next month!! And guess what, you won't have to live in San Diego to work with me!! Yay :)))

• I'm co-facilitating a Mother Daughter Connection Weekend with the lovely Patrina Wisdom and both of our daughters, Jorden & Zoe at the end of this month! Join us April 22-23!

• Our next Bonding Beauties Workshop is set for June 11th! Mark your calendars and all the juicy details will be coming soon!

I hope that your year is off to an amazing start and I look forward to connecting with you so much more in the coming months. Make sure you're following me on all the social places and feel free to email with any questions or feedback. I love hearing from you!

Want to work with me to create your healthier, happier life? Simply email and let's chat!

All my love to you, in health & happiness~

Mimi Marie

xoxoxo
mimimariecnc@gmail.com

The keys to commitment, growth and success!!

Over time, I've discovered the things that I can do to ensure my success and I want to share them with you because I truly believe they can be applied to any of your goals and actually empower the progress and success that you've been wanting. 

So, here you go. Here are your keys... :)

Find and declare your WHY~

Why do we get stuck? Because we've lost touch with our WHY. Your WHY is the whole reason that it's important for you to be successful - whether it's your physical, mental or spiritual health, your business or career, or the relationships around you - strongly and clearly knowing your WHY drives you to being committed and working hard for these things. When you lose touch with your WHY, you can lose touch with your drive and become stuck. 

Your WHY is your purpose and what's *really* important to you. For example, here's mine~ 

#1 is that my kids have an amazing life. That I'm able to empower what's important to them and having a future that makes them happy & fulfilled. And that I'm able to have all of the freedom to enjoy my time with them, take them on adventures, and create the memories of a lifetime. 

#2 is that I make a difference in the lives of other women. Women are beautiful, amazing and powerful, but so many have forgotten that. I want to help them remember and help them find love for themselves, because when moms are enlivened and empowered they can move mountains. When women are empowered, the men and children in their lives are happier. And when you put these pieces together, then our children can and will inadvertently grow up in a better place. 

Remove the obstacles~

Remove the things that hold you back, whether it be food, certain habits, people, places, etc. If you can't get over or around the things that slow you down or hold you back, sometimes it's best to take a break, create some distance, and re-evaulate what really has a place in your life.

Get some accountability~

Share your goals and the things you're working on with the people in your life. This could mean clearly asking for support. Maybe it means hiring a coach or mentor. Having a support system is so important in keeping you accountable. You're not proving anything by trying to do things on your own! 

Find a structure~

This could be a group, a class, a program, a book, a partner, or any kind of well rounded structure to support you on your path. These things provide tools and education to get you where you want to go in a healthy and balanced way. Not everyone needs this kind of thing, but I know for me, being surrounded by people moving in the same direction is exactly what I need. I can't do these things on my own!

Acknowledge yourself~

Lately, I've done a lot of reflecting on how far I've come over the past few years and realized how little we stop to give ourselves credit for our accomplishments. This is SO important on the journey of personal growth! We must always acknowledge how far we've come or it can literally feel like we've gone nowhere. Acknowledging our progress propels us to grow more. It's time to give yourself some credit for the hard work that you do!

Take action~

I feel like a different woman than I was a even just a year ago. Looking back I felt so timid and afraid to step into the path that so strongly called to me. But day by day and little by little, I took steps even when I was scared. Taking steps in the face of fear and uncertainty gave me confidence and grew me into a woman that believes in herself. *Action + practice = progress!

Work hard and be patient~

We live in a world where we want results NOW. We're impatient and we don't like when results take time. It has taken me several years to step into my place as a women's coach. I have a client who has lost 20 pounds in 4 months and feels like she's failing because it's taking so long. These are great accomplishments!! Be patient and acknowledge all of the little steps along the way.
Get your vision clear (whatever it is), stay focused, work hard and don't give up!! Your consistency and persistency WILL lead to success. I promise :)

We have such a tendency as humans to complicate things. We get stuck inside of our thoughts, insecurities & fears and can literally paralyze ourselves. If you can start with even one of the things above at a time, just one step, you will surely start moving in the direction of your dreams. 

If you have any questions, need support, guidance, resources, anything, please feel free to reach out! 

I love to help!

Always love,

~Mimi

Rising from the ashes...

I'm ready for 2015!! I absolutely love the renewal of the New Year and always use this time to reflect on where I've been and where I'm going...

The last 2-3 years have been huge for me on pretty much every possible level. There have been many drastic ups and downs. There were times I found myself lying in a puddle of my own tears and other times standing on top of the world.

I chose to put myself through various personal development programs (Landmark and The School of Inner Beauty) in an effort to be free from my past and live into the life and the woman that I've always wanted to be.

I had no idea what I was in for...

At one point, I ran myself into the ground and a nervous breakdown trying to HAVE it all, DO it all and BE it all.
From that, I learned that I'm perfect just the way I am.

I went through a divorce and learned an insane amount about myself.
From that, I have an amazing partnership with my now ex-husband. We did some crazy-hard work to make sure that we could still give our kids the best life possible.

I spent a couple of months dating men that were insufficient for what I'm up to in life and then made an agreement with myself to be single for a while.
From that, I met a man that showed me that it's possible to love again.

I put myself in school (again), dropped out of school (again), and then went on to become a certified nutritionist.
From that, I learned belief in myself and the ability to accomplish things.

I found my passion in life and then started my own business which was not my passion, yet was quickly on the way to success.
From that, I learned that I'm capable of doing whatever I put my mind to - especially that which I'm passionate about!
And from that, I met the right person at the right time and launched myself into my dream career.

There are some things about 2015 (January alone!) that I'm terrified about. More big changes and risks are taking way.
But from that, I know that there are the greatest gifts, growth, success, accomplishment and reward on the road ahead.

2015 will be the year of the Phoenix for me. I'm launching myself up and out of the ashes. I will always struggle, but I will always persevere.

Love and abundance to all,
~Mimi~

This photo is absolutely gorgeous, but it is not mine and it is not signed.
If you know where it came from, please do let me know!

Affirmations for Finding True Joy~

Happy Monday, friends! 

I took some time today to look over these blog pages because I'm thinking about revamping some things as I finish up my nutrition certification. As I read over my previous posts, I reflected on how far I've come over the past year and realize just how thankful I am for my progress. It hasn't always been smooth sailing, and sometimes it feels like one step forward and two steps back, but the *not giving up* is the gold! 

I decided to slightly edit and re-share these insights with you because I know how valuable they were/are for me, and I hope they can shed some light for you as well... 

~ All of whatever lacks in my own experience of life and love is within me. It can't be found outside of myself. It can't be filled with someone else's presence or inanimate objects.

~ I must always seek and find ways to love myself. It is then that I remain fulfilled. In loving myself, I can then be loved.

~ Perspective is a jewel. Sometimes taking a step away from a situation, as well as spending time alone, is the key to seeing the answers we need.

~ Life is happening and passing. Now... And now... The extent to which I pay attention to the experience is up to me.

~ Being too busy and filling my time with overcompensations will always dull my joy. I can be fulfilled in any moment, if I choose.

~ I am perfect just the way I am. Really. (and so are YOU!) :)

Wherever you are in your journey - whether it be health related or anything else - remember that the inner journey is the one with the highest payoff. You can't be healed or fixed with external measures. You must first go within.

Yours in health and always love,
Mimi
xoxo

A Little Piece of Me~

We're all on our own journey~

What I want the world to know is that it doesn't matter where you came from. It doesn't matter what your childhood was like, what kind of tragedy you've been through, or how long it takes you to get where you want to go. As long as you're always moving forward. And this is why I've decided to start sharing my story with you. I haven't always been happy & healthy. I wasn't born into a path of health and abundance. But somewhere along the way, I chose something different for myself. The path wasn't perfect and there were LOTS of mistakes along the way. But here I am today, in a place where I finally feel I have something to give. 

I am happily married to husband of almost 14 years and we have FIVE kids! My husband is an incredibly hard-working man and our kids are phenomenal, but we have every good reason to be TOO BUSY to be healthy, eat right, work out, etc., etc. None of that matters. If you choose to create and live a life you LOVE, and then take actions every day that will make that happen, one day you will wake up and realize you've done it. Just don't forget to enjoy the journey!

So, THIS is my very FIRST interview with a very dear friend of mine. She just started her own podcast show called Food, Love and Transformation and in a nutshell that just sums up so much of my own journey. When she asked me to be on her show, I was thrilled. Please excuse my amateur-ness ;) as I'm still working on my presentation and voice etiquette (we all start somewhere).. But this is ME and my life. Take it as you will. And please, if you do take a listen, I'd love to hear your feedback!

>>>Supermom! with Mimi Pacheco<<<

And now I want to take you on my next fitness journey.. Oh boy, I'm so excited!! :) For a couple of years I have enjoyed reading the back section of Oxygen magazine where they feature "real women living the Oxygen lifestyle.." and then I started fantasizing... maybe that could be me some day... And now I say, WHY NOT?? So, I'm going for it! Tomorrow morning I'm starting 60 days of JNL Fusion workouts and I figure by the time summer comes I'll be ready for my next photo shoot that I can submit to Oxygen! 

 

Do you have dreams, goals, wishes, fantasies that you've put on your "some-day-maybe" list? Well I say it's time to move them to your to-do-now list!! Life is happening NOW.. don't let it pass you by!!

Yours in health,
~Mimi~

PS~ Want to join me in my free, 60-day, private FB group for support, accountability, motivation and inspiration to get fit for summer? Go here and request to join - I'd love to have you:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/243414309130232/