Rising Womxn ~ Linda Schwartz

I am deeply honored to introduce our first Rising Woman interview of 2019, my very dear friend, Linda Schwartz! Linda & I quickly became friends in 2011 while we both were diving into the transformational work of Landmark's curriculum for living. Over the years our paths have weaved in and out and it has been such a joy to watch her evolve and see the beautiful life that she's creating today. 

In this interview, Linda takes us through her journey of personal growth and self discovery from a treacherous childhood to becoming a woman who is empowered and making a difference in the world today. 

The Rising Womxn Project

This project comes very near and dear to my heart as I have committed to a life of being unstoppable in my quest of becoming the best possible version of myself. 

What Will They Say About You?

Sometimes the shortest conversations can be the sweetest...

I shared with some friends tonight how I'm so thankful for the handful of people that are in my life who knew my dad. I love that we get to share stories and I get to hear how he touched people's lives. 

She Remembered Who She Was...

There is a storm raging inside of me. It has always been there. Only now I embrace it. All in.

I am a strong woman. Fierce. Loyal. Bold. Powerful. Unshakeable.

The Moon is Calling

Do you feel the pull of the moon tonight...

The pull to leave everything in sight~

Even When We Don’t Want To...

I just got home from a long day, I’m tired and I don’t want to write tonight. 

I don’t have a plan and I don’t have it all figured out. Welcome to life. 

Here I am anyway. 

Letting Myself Be Drawn...

This is my first post on my new mission of daily blogging! Thank you for being here. I hope you will strap in and stick around for the roller coaster of it all. 

Today I'm just going to out-poor what's there...

Come Along With Me~

I’ve decided that I’m taking you all on a journey with me! 

of transformation and expansion… 

Rising Woman ~ Allyson Elizabeth

Our next Rising Woman has just rocked my world with her story. There are so many reasons that I'm completely honored to share Allyson's story here. I "met" Ally through her Facebook group, Badass Sober Sisters, and asked her to share her story when I recently saw her celebrating 6 years of sobriety. The further I move on along in my own sobriety, the more I realize the importance of impacting the stigma around addiction and recovery. I'm so thankful for people like Allyson who choose to support people on this journey. Her FB group has been one of the many supporting factors in my own sobriety. Thank you, Ally, for being the first Rising Woman to share on the topic of recovery, and for the incredible courage that it took you to do so. You, my friend, are a warrior and I love you!

Who are you and what do you do for a living?
I’m Ally. I’m 27 years old and I am a full time student majoring in social work.

Tell me about your family, if applicable.
I’m the oldest of 3 girls. My parents have been and are still together since they were 16 years old. My dad will have 17 years sober in August.

What is your story?
Well, I grew up in the alcoholic household. My dad drank until I was 11 years old. I also picked up my first drink at 11. When my dad got sober he passed a comment that he got sober for my little sister, so she wouldn’t have to go through what my sister and I went through. I can honestly tell you right then and there all my insecurities were born. Why was I not good enough for him to get sober long before? If I’m not good enough for my own dad how would I ever be good enough for anyone else?

By the time I was 11 years old I knew what real pain and heartache was. I worried about things no child should even know about.

My drinking wasn’t crazy, just weekend and school breaks but when I took that first drink at 11 I knew I was different. I didn’t like the taste or the feeling but what I did like is feeling numb. From that first night, I drank to blackout and not feel.

Fast forward to senior year of high school, I was an excellent student and was accepted into every college I applied to. I feel like I was pressured into going away. See, my parents didn’t know about my weekend escapades, but I was a hard kid to raise. I was disrespectful, irresponsible and mean. I thrived in chaos and negative spaces. So my parents thought it was a good idea that I not stay home for school. I kind of feel like they just didn’t want to deal with me anymore and wanted a peaceful environment to raise my sisters. Again all those insecurities were right back in full force.

I decided to go to SUNY Purchase in Westchester, New York. I was 18 and no where near ready to be on my own. I drank myself into oblivion every night. I didn’t go to class - I joke that I majored in beer pong and boys. I met a guy who I thought I was going to be with forever. I latched on. I couldn’t do anything without him, breath, sleep, live. He joined the military and left for basic training for 20 weeks. I always craved attention from guys and I found that in his recruiter. I never cheated, but I loved the flirty-ness. I also started hanging out with my cousin who introduced me to roxys and shooting. When my boyfriend came home, we moved in together and I stopped doing drugs. It was more important to me to be the perfect military girlfriend. In December of 2009 we got engaged. I was living the life I always wanted. But I’m an addict and eventually my drinking became a problem, so I picked up pills again. We moved in with his parents and I was convinced that if I got pregnant I would be cured of drug addiction and my relationship would be fixed. But to be honest I really don’t think I would have stopped using, or if i did I think I would have been resentful that I had too. I know that sounds so selfish, but I only cared about drugs. My relationship fell apart and I moved back to Long Island.

On my 21st birthday, I went to a local bar. I was dancing with my long time friend, and this other kid came up and the next thing I know their hands are down my pants. Afterward, I just chalked it up to being too drunk and I asked for it because I danced with him. I know now that that was no where near acceptable or my fault.

I soon met another boy, in 2011, who was just getting out of treatment and moving into a male halfway house, so I moved in with him. The house was run by a gang called the Latin Kings and they were running drugs in and out. I was introduced to heroin at this time. I don’t really remember the week I was there. The boy I was seeing stole money from the guys running the house and blamed me, they broke my cheekbones, my nose, and I was raped by 7 or 8 men. I then went upstairs a hysterical bloody mess and overdosed. Someone called my mom and told her I was in danger, but wouldn’t tell her where I was. She had to track my cell phone. On the way to the hospital I ended up flatlining. They had to narcan me 4 times and use paddles. They asked me if I had a problem and I said that I was 21 and just having fun. I went a little overboard. They sent me on my way, but now I’m screwed because it is now confirmed. I am deep in addiction and using heroin. My parents sent my sisters to my grandma's, took off work and I detoxed at home cold turkey for 8 days. I went to my first AA meeting after I was done detoxing, but was high as a kite before the meeting was over.

I went on to overdose another time, narcan, paddles, the works. I finally attempted sobriety and had about 75 days clean when my neighbors stepson moved in across the street. He was everything I wanted, he did drums, dealt drugs and had a girlfriend. The chaos that became my life for literally only 2 months was insane. I made Facebook after Facebook to tell this poor girl what was going on between her boyfriend and I. I spared no detail. He and I ended in Jersey with my mom's stolen credit card. I showed up at my uncle's ex wife’s door and I hadn’t seen her in 20+ years. We spent the next 4 days in oblivion. When I got home my parents had booked me a one way flight to Arizona for treatment. I stayed in Arizona for 3 months but was convinced I wasn’t an alcoholic, I was a drug addict. I couldn’t be an alcoholic. I was 21, that’s what all normal kids my age do.

I drank for a while, but alcohol stopped giving me the high or numbness I craved. In November 2011 my good friend from high school passed away from an overdose. He was 22 years old. My world sank. I couldn’t understand why a 22 year old was taken and I didn’t understand how he was here one day and gone the next. I had just talked to him about going to meetings. I was so uncomfortable and needed out. Right back to the syringe I went. I went to his funeral flying high and looked his mother in the eye and promised I was doing good. I ended up back in treatment 3 weeks later.

This time, I stayed on Long Island. I went to Seafield in West Hampton Beach, they were the best on Long Island. I ended up getting kicked out for fraternizing 12 days later. When my mom and grandma picked me up they informed me I wasn’t allowed in my house and I would be moving in with my grandma. I rebelled against everything my grandma believed in. I was furious and refusing.

I was with my grandma for 4 months and I stayed sober. I threw myself into my program, meetings, sponsor, and the 12 steps. In February 2012 my neighbors step son passed away and I found myself right back in the same place. Questioning God, my purpose. I really tried to stay clean, like honest to God I wanted it. I reached out, I went to meetings and shared, but the that uncomfortability came right back and I needed out of self.

I stole a credit card went down to Florida and did what I did best. I was extremely high staying in a hotel room when I called my mom and she actually answered. My parents had cut me off by this time. I went on and on about how I was starving and needed food. She just quietly said “you are my beloved, take a good look and ask yourself if this is who you want to be? That pain you feel is only temporary and you can fight it,” and she hung up. I cried like I never had before and I hit my knees and begged for help. I got my MacBook, the only thing I wouldn’t pawn, and googled treatment centers. I found one in Hobe Sound 4 hours from where I was, all I had to do was get myself to detox.

The night before going to detox I was raped by 2 men. They dropped me off at the hospital the next day. They didn’t even wait until I was out of the car to drive away. Even despite that, I still wanted to get clean. I was ready and willing to do anything for sobriety.

While checking into detox, they found drugs and I was arrested for possession with the intent to sell. I was taken to Tavernes County Jail. I was there for 3 days which isn’t long, but felt like an eternity. My parents bailed me out and I went to detox for 7 days, and then treatment for 45. I knew I wasn’t ready to come home, plus I was facing 7-10 years with the intent to sell charges, so I wasn’t allowed to leave Florida. I also knew I needed to listen to people who knew more than I did, so I went to a halfway house for a year.

I went in front of a judge 8 months later and my charges were dismissed because they broke confidentiality. I flew back to New York that night and called my parents from JFK. When I told them I was home, they told me that was nice because I wasn’t allowed in their house, so I had to find somewhere to live. I went to another halfway for 9 months, then moved in with my aunt in South Carolina. I wasn’t allowed home until I was almost 2 years sober.

To say it has been a roller coaster is an understatement. There has been extremely low points in my sobriety, but I pushed forward. Today, April 1st, I celebrate 6 years of complete sobriety. I was asked why I think I’m in the 1% of those who get sober and stay sober, and my answer is simple - I remain teachable, I don’t know everything and I rely on those who know more. I took every suggestion. I threw myself into program. I also believe living a life of service is a major piece of remaining sober. I am able to be there and supportive of everyone I meet.

I hit an extremely low point in my sobriety, I lost faith in myself, God, and meetings. I was going to 1-2 meetings every 2 months, if that, and I suffered terribly. I felt alone, not connected, and miserable. My attitude and behaviors were those of someone in active addiction. I forced myself to get back to meetings. I met my sponsee and we’re currently going through the steps. Taking her through the steps and being there and present for someone has healed me in places I didn’t know needed to be healed.

I remain grateful always. I fall short, but I can admit when I’m wrong and need help. Despite the hardships I’m still standing.

What have you overcome to get where you are today?
Honestly no one, including myself, thought that I would be alive today. If someone told me today that I’d be sober, have my family in my life, have amazing women in my life, I never would have believed it. I was heading down a really dark and dangerous road and I didn’t care if I lived at the end. So I guess I had to overcome not caring what happened to me, finding the willpower to overcome addiction.

What has been your greatest struggle in life?
Acceptance and control. I like things to go my way. I’m working on trying not to control everything and accept people and things the way they are. I read and reread page 417 in the big book of alcoholic anonymous.

Did you ever feel like giving up? When you felt like giving up, what did you do?
I want to say giving up isn’t an option, but just because I have 6 years doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with the same things people in early recovery do. I just have the tools today to deal with and overcome. I won’t lie though, sometimes I just don’t want to feel, but I won’t give up. When I do feel that way I reach out to my support tribe. I pray, write, make gratitude lists, eat, and read recovery books; Living Sober, The Big Book, Daily Reflections.

What are some of the tools and resources you have used to work through and overcome those struggles? (books, counselors, workshops, programs, coaches, etc.)
I see a psychologist once a week, a psychiatrist every 6 months, I have a sponsor and an amazing group of women and I am extremely active in A.A.

What are your gifts and how did you discover them?
There’s so many gifts. I am responsible today. I suit up, shut up, and show up for people today. I care so much about literally everyone and would do anything to help people. I’m nonjudgmental, I don think I have a right to judge anyone when we all have our own paths. I was blessed with these gifts when I got sober and did the steps and when I started taking other women through the steps.

Tell us about your tribe and the importance of having one.

I have an amazing tribe. We’re all different ages and in all different points in our sobriety but the love and compassion not to mention the understanding is in full force. They are always there when I need someone. Having a tribe makes me feel not alone and understood when I feel absolutely crazy.

Who in life do you rely on when you're struggling? Who keeps you uplifted and on your path?
My dad. I had a really rocky relationship with him when he first got sober and addiction swallowed me, but I couldn’t have gotten 6 years without him especially in the beginning. He is my best friend, my go-to, my rock. He showed me how to live a life of honesty, integrity, and kindness. I call him for literally everything, probably like 15 times a day. He is the best man I have ever met.

What do you want other women to know who are feeling lost, and/or experiencing their own tragedy and/or struggles?
You are so worth it. The pain you’re in now is only temporary. Fight through. You are beautiful and strong and I love each and everyone of you even if we haven’t met.

What is some advice you would give to women who are healing or rising in some way?
You can do it! Look for the rainbow after the storm, it’s always there even if you can’t see it.

Anything else you'd like to add? 
This world can be such a scary dark place at times. That’s why it’s so important to stick together. Lift each other up and strengthen each other. We need each other.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If you are a woman questioning your own troubles with addiction; if you're trying or wanting to get clean & sober; or if you're just looking for more support on your journey, we encourage and urge you to reach out. It can feel like a lonely road, but I PROMISE you're not alone.

You can find Ally and a whole group of amazingly supportive sober women on their journey of recovery on Facebook at: Badass Sober Sisters

Ally, thank you again for being part of The Rising Woman Project. Keep doing what you're doing, girl! 

xoxoxo

Rising Woman~ Mimi Marie

Who are you and what do you do for a living?

If this is your first time here, welcome! My name is Mimi and this is my blog :) Thanks to the encouragement from my dear friend, Faith, who is also one of the Rising Women in this series, I decided to go ahead and participate as well. As a bonus, Faith has interviewed me on her podcast which I have included HERE. What an honor to share with each other and with you all!

...And now I know why some of these questions were so tough for some of my women! ;)

Who am I? This is a tough question and I feel like it's always changing. Currently, it has nothing to do with what I do for a living, which is an interesting and evolving discovery. More on that later. If you would have asked me this a year ago (or even a few months ago), my answer would have been so different. Today, I feel like I love who I am more than I ever have. This has been on of the gifts of being single for the first time and the longest period of my life. This has also made me a woman who knows what I want and is no longer willing to settle. I am a woman who is strong, resilient and always striving to be the best version of myself. While I certainly have my low tides in life, I am a woman you will never find down for very long. I am extremely passionate about my family, personal growth and women's empowerment. While I might put up some resistance at first, I'm always open to looking at my own shit, acknowledging my wrongs and growing from them.

I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up! I have a lot of experience with office management in several different fields. I also have some experience in women's health and lifestyle coaching. However this has been an evolving topic for me for many years. Just recently I made the choice to leave the job I had been at for almost 3 years to pursue something new and the entire plan fell through. Queue quote: "If plan A doesn't work, remember there are 25 more letters in the alphabet!" My big risk quickly turned into what could be perceived as an epic fail, but I chose to see it as time to create something new and fast. Within days, I had probably close to 50 people reaching out to inquire about my services. I could hardly believe I was suddenly in a position to choose who I wanted to work for and how much I wanted to charge, all while working from home and being able to tend to my family more. I now have a handful of virtual assisting projects that I'm working on while at the same time trying to figure out what's next on my path. As a single mom, finding my career path has presented a totally different challenge. I'm super committed and motivated to figure out what it's going to take to create financial freedom for myself. I'm working with my coach to create a plan and while things are really uncertain right now, I'm completely surrendered and trusting the process of my actions. Sometimes it's really scary, but it's also super exciting to be in the world of the unknown.

Tell me about your family, if applicable.

I have 5 kids! 3 of them I gave birth to who are 12, 14 & 15. The other 2 are my biological brother and sister that I raised from the time that they were 2 & 4 until they were grown. Even though I didn't give birth to them, they are my kids and I love them the same. They are now 22 & 24 and one of them now has my beautiful grand baby girl. Their spouses are also my kids who I love dearly. Another special part of my family is my ex husband and his fiancee. We have created such a special family dynamic and unique friendship. I'm so proud of how far we've all come and love that we work together as a family unit. It is for this reason that I believe anything is possible for families when you take full responsibility for your relationships and for your role as a parent. Sometimes love ends up looking different than we think it should, but our commitment to our children and our stand for families is always at the forefront.      

What is your story?

For most of the memory of my childhood, I grew up in a drug and alcohol induced, and very tumultuous environment. I was mostly raised by mother, and my father was in and out of the picture a lot, I believe because his relationship with my mom was so difficult. I witnessed a lot of abuse around me, and was sexually abused by a family "friend" for a number of years. Nearly the moment I turned 18, I moved out to be on my own. The hardest part about that was leaving my siblings who were 16-17 years younger than me. Things were only getting worse at home and I feared for what they would have to endure.

Shortly after moving out to be on my own, my now ex husband and I began raising my brother and sister. In our early 20's we got married, and in our late 30's we had our 3 children. We created the family that we wanted by the time we were 30 and while there was plenty of turbulence, I think we did an amazing job with what we had and what we knew at the time.

Into our 30's we got serious about our paths of personal growth. This ultimately led to the realization that it was time for our marriage to come to an end. This was a turn I hadn't expected much long before and meant my future was now unwritten.

Going through a divorce is never easy for anyone and I certainly had my moments of darkness and uncertainty about life. I allowed the process of grieving to play out in my life and when I was ready, I saddled up and began my own journey of self discovery and healing.

What have you overcome to get where you are today?

My first reaction to this question is, well, I'm not there yet! It's so easy for me to see all the work there is still to do. But I can also acknowledge how far I've come. My childhood is the biggest thing that I've had to overcome. I carried the weight and the shame of being sexually abused with me for a long time. I also carried a lot of sadness about the relationship that I never got to have with my parents. I always wished they had made different choices and made me and my siblings more of a priority. Now I can see that if it wasn't for all of those things then I wouldn't be who I am today. All of those things drove me to be a better, stronger woman.

The other more recent thing that I've overcome was the end of my 17 year marriage. I experienced so much shame, regret and failure around that. I could hardly look at myself in the mirror and face the woman I had been. The months following my separation were some of the darkest of my life. There were days I didn't know how I would get through and nights that I drowned it all in alcohol. The feelings of emptiness were sometimes unbearable and I looked for things to fill the void. I thought I was trying to be tough, strong and brave on the outside, but on the inside I was deeply depressed. I let myself wallow for a while until I got sick of it, and then I decided it was time to start pulling myself together again.

Before my divorce was even final, I found myself in a new relationship, smitten in new love and I dove all in with both feet. I closed my eyes to the red flags and held strong to the fantasy that love could endure all. In some ways, this new relationship showed me love in a whole new light. It taught me some beautiful things about what's possible in romance and a relationship. In a lot of ways we were a mirror and a catalyst for each other's growth. It was fun to live on cloud 9 for a time, but it wasn't realistic. We tried to fit into each other's molds and it didn't work. I dare say that this relationship was one of my greatest ventures in learning about myself. I value honesty, loyalty and integrity more than ever now. What I've had to overcome is the guilt around the choices that I made, the shame around the things that I let break me that weren't mine to own, and the ways that I let all of those things impact my relationship with my family. Even now, almost a year later, I can say that I'm still learning and discovering from that relationship and I'm thankful for the clarity it has given me since stepping away.

Currently I am embracing the single life. My relationship with myself is now at the top of my list. I am finally in a place of discovering and creating my life for me. Learning to be alone and loving myself deeper is a beautiful path that I've never truly been able to appreciate until now. Sure, sometimes I get sad and lonely. Sometimes I miss having a companion and all of the things that come with that, but I've got plenty of work to do in the meantime. For now, I'm dating myself - and my kids!

What has been your greatest struggle in life?

My greatest struggle has been learning to love myself and making choices that align with that. Don't get me wrong, there are things that I've loved about myself throughout the years, like my resiliency and my ability to love. But really loving myself outside of the love of anyone else or any external circumstances has been a different game. When you really love and value yourself, making healthy choices and creating a healthy lifestyle becomes easier. It's getting easier for me now... :)

Did you ever feel like giving up? When you felt like giving up, what did you do?

Yes! I feel like giving up quite often, actually. I think there are certain times and situations when we should give up. The thing is, I never give up for good. It's usually just a pause, or an end to something, and it means it's time for a change. Giving up can look a lot of ways. It can mean taking some time to wallow in my sadness for a little while, ending a job or a relationship. But I don't think that giving up for me is ever a permanent thing. Giving up is a time to assess a situation and see what's not working so that I can find another way.

What are some of the tools and resources you have used to work through and overcome those struggles? (books, counselors, workshops, programs, coaches, etc.)

~The most awesome and profound tool that I've ever had has been the work that I've done with Landmark. For the past 6 years I have consistently participated in their programs and I have continually made progress on my path of personal growth. It has been THE thing that has helped me to let the past go and to always have a say in who I get to be in my life.

~For the past year I have been working in depth with a coach/mentor, Char Spirtos, who I treasure beyond measure. This has given me the greatest leaps in my life in the shortest amount of time.  

~Books!

Untame Yourself by Liz Dialto

Open Your Heart by Tanya Paluso

The Universe Has Your Back by Gabby Bernstein

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

The Queen's Code by Alison Armstrong

The Single Woman by Mandy Hale

Motherhood's Not For Punks by Patrina Wisdom

Money, A Love Story by Kate Northrup

You Have 4 Minutes by Rebekah Borucki

This list is always growing...

What are your gifts and how did you discover them?

I think I have a lot of gifts that I haven't really delved into yet. I know that my intuition is an incredibly strong gift that I'm learning to listen and tune into more. I believe my ability to love and my compassion are also gifts. It is often all of these things that lead me in life.  

Tell us about your tribe and the importance of having one.

I think we all feel alone sometimes and the importance of identifying who your tribe is so important. It doesn't have to look a certain way and it doesn't have to be one group of people that all know each other. Your tribe can include all sorts of people that you're connected to. I have so many special people that I am so thankful to call my tribe. They include many of my family members, as well as many women that I have grown friendships with over the years. The women in my life who are on their own paths of self growth and discovery, and the ones who are committed to making a difference in the world, are the ones who always lift me up and keep me on my own path of greatness.

What do you want other women to know who are feeling lost, and/or experiencing their own tragedy and/or struggles?

It's okay to be where ever you're at. It's okay to have bad days. Don't beat yourself up for the struggle and the darkness. Know that the time will pass and it will get better. It's okay to be and feel alone sometimes, but remember that you're not alone. Be sure to reach out to the ones who remind you of your greatness. Reach out, get the help, the love and the support that you need. Take yourself to places and people that lift you up. Eventually the strength will become greater than the struggle.  

 

This project has been such a joy for me to facilitate and I'm so thankful to all of the ladies who join and share their stories. I hope that everyone who follows along finds some strength and inspiration to move forward and to rise above their own struggles and shine as the amazing women they were born to be.

To listen to my Rising Woman interview with Faith Shevlin, go HERE.

If you are interested in working with me to receive the support you need to become your own Rising Woman, please email me here: mimi@mimimarie.com

Much love and light to you all.

Always love,

Mimi

xoxo

Rising Woman~ Danny-J

I think this next Rising Woman will always be one of my favorite people on the planet. She is just so REAL. If you follow her online, you get the same woman in person. There is no pretending, no facade. She shares so much of herself online and she isn't afraid to tell it like it is. On the same token she can make you laugh with her wit and sass. She helps women in so many different ways and I'm so happy to have her share some of her story here...

Who are you and what do you do for a living?

My name is Danny-J (the J stands for Johnson) I am a professional speaker and lifestyle expert and I create programs and solutions for women that help them upgrade their finances, relationships and fitness.

What is your story?

Which part? LOL. I have many stories and probably each one could be a separate book, but I was a very depressed and suicidal teen who got pregnant at the age of 15. I ended up placing my daughter for adoption because I didn't want her to have to live the way I was living. Her birth made me get my act together and I ended up graduating high school early, going to college and earning my bachelors and masters degrees. In between my two degrees, I ended up paralyzed from a bacterial infection and this is what led me to fitness. I spent a lot of time in the gym rehabbing myself. Ultimately, I found that my best gifts were in helping others see the potential in themselves and after my passion for fitness waned a bit, I realized it wasn't about fitness, it was about the results that people would see in their life. Now I love to help people see results in all areas of their lives.

What have you overcome to get where you are today?

I I had to overcome self-doubt, body image issues, the feelings that I didn't belong here (on this planet or in this life) depression and anxiety, and ultimately I had to forgive myself and start to trust in a bigger plan.

What has been your greatest struggle in life?

My greatest struggle was and still is my negative beliefs, self-talk, and judgement. I am so much better than I used to be, but I have realized that my own thoughts and my negative talk have been the single barrier to any lack of results or success that I have been looking for.

Did you ever feel like giving up? When you felt like giving up, what did you do?

Ha!! uhmmmm yes, multiple times a day, everyday for the last 25 years and now at least once a day! LOL it's hard! Life is hard! Showing up is hard! But the one time that I DISTINCTLY remember REALLY getting ready to quit... I sat in a parking lot crying and thinking about just getting a job at Starbucks... it was around 9pm... and my phone notification went off, and I saw an email. The email was about two pages long from a woman whose name I didn't recognize. She said she had been following me for a long time and that my posts and emails and programs helped save her life. She said that I wouldn't recognize her because she would never comment, but that she had been watching. It was that moment that I realized I couldn't quit. I bawled again, but this time in gratitude and also just realizing that THIS was the reason I was compelled to share my struggles, my story, and my truth every day.

What are some of the tools and resources you have used to work through and overcome those struggles? (books, counselors, workshops, programs, coaches, etc.)

Everything you can probably think of! I was in counseling from age 15 to 21. I started listening to personal development "tapes" when I was 9 years old. My mom would make my brother and I do affirmations when we were 3 until about 12. I have gone to amazing workshops, done a lot of forgiveness work, I've done some really good and deep stuff in hypnotherapy sessions. Right now I am working with a coach and I think that probably for the rest of my life, I'll be working with coaches or therapists, because there is always something that can be dug up or improved.

What are your gifts and how did you discover them?

I think my gifts are connecting with people. I discovered that mostly when I started personal training. I realized that a client would come into the office and be so nervous, and I was able to quickly make them laugh and open up. People trust me with some of their deepest secrets and pains and I don't take that lightly.

Who in life do you rely on when you're struggling? Who keeps you uplifted and on your path?

When I'm struggling it depends. I have such a solid group of women friends that I can call on. Or I will reach out to someone who I know who has maybe been through something similar and seek counsel.

Tell us about your tribe and the importance of having one.

My squad I like to call them ;) LOL I actually feel like I have a few tribes and some people cross over into the others. I used to have a hard time relying on others, reaching out, sharing my vulnerabilities. I was always the one that people came to. I've learned in the past few years that connection is everything and you don't get out of this life without having some shit happen to you. The problem is that most of us feel like we are the only one. Having a tribe that gets you, gets what you're about, and what you've been through just gives you comfort in knowing you're not alone. They also push you, help you grow and challenge you to look at your own BS.

What do you want other women to know who are feeling lost, and/or experiencing their own tragedy and/or struggles?

This too shall pass. I recently have gone through a year of three different tragedies and losses and none of them were expected and all of them hurt deeply. My friends allowed me and reminded me that it was ok to grieve, to be sad, to mourn and scream and to feel all the feelings, to allow the feelings and not to judge them. I think we have to be ok with life being messy for a bit and also knowing that you won't "get over it" in one fell swoop. You might just realize you only cried once today! Progress! Then maybe a few months go by and out of the blue, for no apparent reason, you break down again... that is ok too! It is part of the process. Definitely seek counsel and friends who can hold space for you.

What is some advice you would give to women who are healing?

Be gentle with yourself. Don't judge it. Don't judge things for not happening faster. They will in their time. Also find ways to laugh! When I was going through one of my biggest challenges, I spent so many hours crying I decided I was exhausted, so I turned on Youtube and started watching stand-up comedy every night. It gave me at least a small mental break and I truly believe laughter is the best medicine.

To learn more about Danny, to have some fun and be inspired, be sure to find her on her social media places. If you would like some mantras that can help you get through blocks or struggles, please go to Danny's website and download her little workbook and print it out! http://dannyj.com

Thank you again, Danny, for being part of the Rising Woman Project! Love you, girl! xoxo

Rising Woman~ Faith Shevlin

Our next rising woman is very near and dear to my heart. Faith and I met briefly a couple of years ago at the Grand Opening of Nourish Medical Center. Shortly after, we became coworkers at Nourish and worked side by side for about a year and a half. Faith has been one of those people for me who are just so easy to love. We've connected on so many levels and have grown so close. She is just a true soul sister to me and I'm so thankful to have her participate in the Rising Woman Project. I'm also super excited to share that Faith interviewed me on her podcast last weekend and that will be coming out soon. What an honor to share our stories with each other and our communities.

Who are you and what do you do for a living?

My name is Faith Shevlin. I am a mind-body coach, holistic nutritionist and spiritual/intuitive mentor. By combining my expertise in nutrition and health, with personal growth and life coaching, I guide my clients through their own transformational journeys. I find incredible joy in inspiring others to take ownership of their own health and well-being so that they can live in full expression of who they really are.

My mission is to help women embrace who they are, access and trust the wisdom within themselves and connect with their own divinity.

I am the creator and host of a podcast, IMperfectly Healthy: where the psychology, science and spirituality of health and wholeness meet. I also love using, sharing and teaching others how to use essential oils as a tool in supporting well-being on all levels!          

What is your story?

The doorway to my own transformation came via the trifecta of struggling with my body image, relationship with food and chronic health issues. I started emotional eating, and having health problems, when I was very young. As a sensitive middle child, with an active and wild older brother and a rambunctious, self-expressed little sister, I felt invisible. I was really shy. I didn’t know how to ask for what I needed or how to express my emotions. Hiding was my to-go strategy. I was pretty much afraid of everything and terrified of rejection. (note: I came into this life with most of these fears, beliefs and insecurities) I became obsessed with food to cope with my emotions and anxiety as a young girl.  

My body and weight become an issue for me when I was in sixth grade. I was the first girl in my class to develop curves. This was so embarrassing for me. Being as shy as I was, the attention I started getting made me so uncomfortable.

This battle within myself, over food and my body, really took over my life (secretly). It was something that consumed me every day, every meal really. I was constantly obsessing over what I was eating and not eating, how many calories I was burning a day, the size of my clothes, comparing myself to other girls bodies, over-exercising, and mentally bashing what I would see in the mirror.

This went on throughout high school. I chose to pursue studying nutrition in college. I thought, if I could figure this food and weight thing out, then I would finally be happy and feel good about myself. I continued to struggle with food and my body while I got my bachelors and masters in food and nutrition. I then went on to become a Registered Dietitian.

My education did not help my emotional eating or body shame. I continued on the on-and-off-again pattern of dieting. I would put myself on really rigid eating plans and force myself to work out hard. Then I'd fall off and indulge in all the foods I “wasn’t allowed” to eat. I was in a constant search outside of myself for the answers to my “problems.”  

My body was my excuse to not fully engage in life. I can’t have fun until I lose weight. I can’t be confident until I lose weight. I can’t be myself until I lose weight. I can’t speak up until I lose weight. I can’t be sensual until I lose weight. I can’t have a healthy, loving relationship until I lose weight. I can’t pursue my dream job until I lose weight….

This internal shitshow (for lack of a better word), manifested in a number of physical problems. Throughout my 20’s I suffered with digestive issues, hormonal imbalances, acne, chronic infections and fatigue. While at the time, I thought these health issues were to blame for my weight and body issues, when in fact it was the other way around. My relationship with food and my body had created these physical challenges.

In my search to find solutions to my health and body issues, I was introduced to holistic healing. I started learning how our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual selves are one. These components must all be addressed and honored to truly be in optimal health and well-being.

I spent the next several years delving into personal growth, spirituality, the mind-body connection and metaphysics. I had to unravel the misunderstandings I had about my childhood, myself, others and life. I became a certified holistic health coach and worked with a number of teachers in these areas. It was in these studies, that everything shifted for me. I am so grateful for the journey I had to go on, because it has taught me soooo much about myself, life and the human experience. I use all I have learned along the way to help women break through all of this MUCH faster than I did.  

What have you overcome to get where you are today?

Beneath the physical struggles (mentioned above), were self-doubt, insecurity, self-judgment, comparison, and many fears (men, my power, being seen, rejection, success, etc). I know for sure, my physical challenges were/are manifestations of my inner world. My life has been, and continues to be, a journey of transcendence from victim to leader.

Creating and producing my podcast, IMperfectly Healthy, is one of my greatest joys right now. I had to overcome some serious fears and self-limiting stories to start it. “I hate my voice. I am an awful speaker. No one cares what about what I have to say. No one will want to be on my show. I will look like an idiot,” are a few of the thoughts I had to move beyond. I remember being sooo nervous just sitting in my room alone and having to record myself speaking. Breaking through all of that feels SO good. The voices are still there at times. They just don’t have power over me, or stop me. Being able to have amazing guests on, chat about my favorite things in life, and to help others by doing so is sooo rewarding!

Did you ever feel like giving up? When you felt like giving up, what did you do?

There are times I wish I would want to give up, lol.  Yet, there is this deep calling and driving force that keeps me going. Turning back is not an option. That is the only way I can describe it. Sometimes it feels like I have so far to go, so much I want to do. During those times, I slow down and get present. I reconnect with myself, my heart and Spirit to remember to embrace the journey. Stepping back and putting life into perspective helps me step out of the mental drama and stories when they get going.

What are your gifts and how did you discover them?

My gifts?  I have no idea, lol.  I tried to skip this question and Mimi wouldn’t let me. I can say what I love most is guiding and supporting others in connecting with themselves, discovering their own answers and truth, and becoming who they really are. I have been told I hold a loving, compassionate space for others healing very well.  Through all my years of study and my own experiences, I have gathered quite a bit of knowledge, wisdom and tools. In working with clients, I pull from it all to help them individually. My podcast guests tell me I am a natural interviewer =) With the support of my own mentors, I am currently on the path of further developing my medical intuitive abilities.  

What are some of the tools and resources you have used to work through and overcome those struggles? (books, counselors, workshops, programs, coaches, etc.)

I have used, and continue to use, sooo many tools and resources in my life. A few of my  favorite authors/teachers include Eckhart Tolle, Caroline Myss, Brene Brown, Alison Armstrong, Medical Medium, Abraham Hicks, and so many more. I have been blessed to work with a number of personal spiritual/intuitive mentors over the last 8 years in areas such as EFT tapping, intuition, Theta Healing, Reiki, meditation, breath work and more.. Working one-on-one with someone is crucial! I am also a huge fan of group programs and workshops.  Some of my favorites have been Landmark, Sister Circle with Tanya Lynn, The Holy Shift with Heather Lindenmenn, Man Breakthrough with Kute Blackson, and Theta Healing with Beatrice Calise. Tools I regularly use are meditation, self-expressive movement, breath work, yoga, inspiration talks and podcasts, oracle cards, crystals, essential oils, EFT tapping and “divine chats.”

Who in life do you rely on to keep you uplifted and on your path?

Relationships are soooo key.  I surround myself with like-minded people that are also committed to their own growth path. The more I step into my authentic expression and take heart-inspired action, the more amazing people come into my life. I tend to be fed most by one-on-one quality time, or super small groups. Large social gatherings and/or events aren’t really my thing.  My AH-mazing family and close friends are everything. There is nothing like having heart-to-hearts, pep talks and holding space for those I love. I am so grateful for my parents, sister, brother and soul friends. Spend time with others that speak your language, lift you up and inspire you to be who you really are. Remember, you get to chose who you spend your time with. Choose wisely.

What do you want other women to know who are feeling lost, and/or experiencing their own tragedy and/or struggles?

I see struggles, tragedy and/or feeling lost as an invitation to go within. The hard times are calling you to slow down, connect with yourself, nurture your relationship with the divine and hold yourself in the arms of love, compassion and faith. We are all humans enrolled in Earth School. We are here to learn, grow, heal and evolve. Trust life. Trust your life and know that, “life gives you what is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness” (Eckhart Tolle). From that stance, you have choice. Choice is your power. Call on the courage to take responsibility for how you show up in life, no matter what life hands you. You got this!

To learn more about Faith or to inquire about working with her, please visit her website:

www.faithshevlin.com

Definitely check out Faith's podcast, IMperfectly Healthy:

Podcast app link: www.bit.ly/faithshevlin

Weblink: www.imperfectlyhealthypodcast.com

Thank you Faith for being part of the Rising Woman Project. You are a gift and I'm so thankful to have you in my life.

xoxo